marriage guidance 1

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Marriage Guidance

There are a few things we all want bottom line in our marriages and one of those things is intimacy. That feeling of close connection with our spouse. It is a basic need that drives us to get married. Yet after we get into a relationship we find that intimacy can slip from our grasp and out of our love life. 

Sometimes this happens fast, through arguments and conflict, and other times it happens slowly, from neglect.

Intimacy then can become elusive over time in our marriage. It can even get to the point where we miss it so much we have an affair or leave our mate altogether. If we aren't getting it from the person we're with, we feel we have to search for it from another.

When it comes to useful marriage guidance, the point is that we all have intimacy needs "hardwired" into us. Babies can die without human touch. And, of course, women and men have different basic methods for getting these core intimacy needs met.

Men equate intimacy with sex. One of the primary ways men go about getting their intimacy needs met is through sex. When they feel the need to be close, they want sex. After climax, they often retreat behind their walls until the intimacy need builds up and they want sex again.

On the other hand, women can feel intimate in a larger number of ways. Sex is great, and they can feel intimate just through talking and being around other people. It isn't just physical for women most of the time.

So sex is a great way to experience deeper love and intimacy, but it is no guarantee. You can have sex and not actually feel that close to the other person at times. Intimacy is something that you need to keep a focus on, or it can slip away. Sex should be just one part of marriage guidance in fulfilling your intimacy needs in relationship.

Verbal communication can also be a powerful way to experience intimacy, but it isn't in the talking. We all know you can talk with someone and feel no intimacy whatsoever. Intimacy in communication comes from feeling heard and understood by your spouse, accepted and not judged, among other things.

Here's some marriage guidance for you:  Intimacy does not have to be something that you lose over time with your mate, or struggle a lifetime to gain. You can learn to create it on purpose in your relationships with some focus and simple shifts in behavior. Just communicating more from the heart, making your mate feel heard and understood, can promote more intimacy regularly in your relationship.

Go here for marriage guidance advice on 3 Top Intimacy Factors.

There are entire books that can be and have been written about marriage guidance, so this is obviously just an introduction, but this is a great place to start to improve your marriage today. 


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