marriage guidance                                                    

Marriage Advice - Stop Your Divorce

When it comes to marriage, we all have high hopes.  In the beginning, things are great.  Then, over time, the love can seem to leave the marriage and you may be staring down the barrel of a divorce.

Is there anything you can do about this?  Well, you can not repair your marriage if you don't know why it is broken. So one of the first things you need to do is to understand why it is near divorce. Look beyond the make wrong and being right about it and identify the basic cause.

The first reason marriages fail is because they just aren't that into you anymore. Relationship drift has moved you away from each other over the months or years.  Maybe it was too much fighting, or not enough play, but you moved away from your passion together.

The second reason is that your mate has done you some wrong. Perhaps they had an affair, or were abusive in some way, or stopped having sex. The third reason for a marriage to end is that you wronged your mate in some way. You committed infidelity or you were abusive. Your spouse is done with you and this behavior.

If you have identified the reason your marriage is failing, then you have a real chance of stopping your divorce. Each of the above three causes will require a different plan to get your ex back, but it can be done. Once you know why it broke, you have a chance of fixing it.

Let's say you are getting a divorce because of relationship drift.   It could be any of the other two main reasons, but for now we'll just focus on marital drift.

Your spouse just isn't that into you anymore. You have drifted away from each other over the months or years. He or she isn't feeling the passion for you anymore and they want to leave. They say they have fallen out of love with you. What can you do?

You can repair their not being into you anymore if you use a strategy like this: First, ask them why they aren't that into you anymore. Ask them straight up. "What is the main reason you feel like you have lost your passion for me?" Ask probing questions. Get them to tell you!  There are lots of ways to get them to fess up.

Then, you need to see if you want to change or fix that cause. Say you gained too much weight over the years and they have lost interest in you physically. Do you want to diet and slim down? If they aren't into you because they are bored in the bedroom, do you want to please them more?  It is up to you.  Maybe you do or you don't.  But if you do, then you have a chance to stop your divorce.

Next, you need to convince them that you will change that issue to please them. If they have lost passion for you because you gained too much weight, then you need to take action and start losing weight to have a chance to stop your divorce. Actions speak louder than words, so take action, and promise them you will be more the way they want you to be.

Marital drift kills marriages day in and day out. There is more to this strategy and how to implement it, but it is one of the few ways you can stop your divorce when they have "fallen out of love" with you. You can get them to fall back in love, if you have a good plan and stick to it.

Marriage Advice Action Plan:

1.  Figure out why your marriage is really failing.

2.  If it is marital drift, what is the cause they have lost love for you?

3.  Figure out the cause.  Ask enough questions to be clear.

4.  Change, and convince your spouse you have changed.  This can stop your divorce.

Marriage advice and guidance is good to learn.  A little relationship intelligence can go a long way in providing the type of marriage guidance that can help your relationship to thrive.  Spending some time learning relationship IQ can pay off for years down the road.  Marriage advice doesn't need to be hard to understand or follow!  Take an insight and try it in your marriage today.

 


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