Advice On Forgiveness
You know how it works in marriages. Upsets and
irritations will occur. Our spouse will be rude to us, or yell at us, or be
un-thoughtful in some ways. It's going happen. If we can't let it go, then
we have a problem.
You know, we keep thinking about how they said that to us, or they didn't
call us to tell us they'd be late, or they snapped at us and didn't
apologize. Things will happen in a committed relationship between two people
that are unpleasant. If we keep thinking about and getting upset about it,
the damage to the marriage grows.
This is where forgiveness becomes an essential tool in our marriage toolkit.
Forgiveness is a must for keeping relationships from growing apart. It is a
must for keeping us in love instead of out of love.
How do you forgive? How do you let things go and move back to love and
appreciation? How do you do this when what they said or did keeps blaring
through your mind and soul? How do you forgive when you are so angry or hurt
Forgiveness takes practice, like any skill. One way to get into the practice
is to try not taking things personally.
What does this mean? It means that when they were rude or when they were
unthoughtful or when they yelled at you that it is about them, not about
you. They are trying, like all of us, to do the best they can. And, like all
of us, they get frustrated and upset and irritable about things from time to
time. And sometimes, they will vent or release that frustration all over
you. You just happened to be there!
If you start to consider that it wasn't about you, even though they yelled
at you, then you can begin to have room to let it go. Learning to let go is
the key to forgiveness. Whatever you have to do to do that is the skill you
want to practice. They were rude to you happened. But how you respond, how
long you carry around your anger or hurt, is up to you. You can let go of
your anger with a little practice.
You don't have to forgive. But have you noticed that if you don't forgive,
you are the one who is hurt? You are the one who is filled with anger and
irritation? Learning to let go and forgive helps you, which helps your
Marriage Advice Action Plan:
1. What haven't you been forgiving?
What's been building up?
2. Consider how to nurture your mate more by
forgiving. What can you let go of?
Marriage advice and guidance is good to learn.
A little relationship intelligence can go a long way in providing the type
of marriage guidance that can help your relationship to thrive.
Spending some time learning relationship IQ can pay off for years down the
road. Marriage advice doesn't need to be hard to understand or follow!
Take an insight and try it in your marriage today.