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Marriage Advice - Marriage Guidance 101

When it comes to marriage advice and marriage guidance, we all have high hopes.  In the beginning, things are great.  Then, over time, the love can seem to leave the marriage and you may be staring down the barrel of a divorce.  How did this happen?  How does it go from hot passion and love to distance and possible separation, cheating or all this conflict?

When it comes to making marriage work, what are some top tips? What with Oprah and Dr Phil and the hundred books on marriage at the bookstore, what should you do? What is worth paying attention to first?  Here is one tip that can pay off for years. One of the most powerful pieces of marriage guidance is this: there are phases to a marriage relationship. This is very important to understand because it can prevent a lot of problems down the road.

How can this piece of marriage guidance make any difference whatsoever?  What is so key and crucial about marital "phases?"  Well, consider the first phase.

The first part of marriage can be called the "honeymoon phase." We all know and love this phase. We feel deeply in love. We want to spend almost all our free time together. We can't seem to stop thinking about and fantasizing about our spouse. Long walks on the beach holding hands is the type of activity that goes on in this phase.

Unfortunately, the honeymoon stage will not last. If you get six months or so of feeling all that connection and passion you are doing great. But after a while it will begin to shift. You won't feel so deeply connected, it will go away.  Are you following this important piece of marriage guidance?

The next phase is the separation or me/us phase. Yes, you enjoy being married, but you begin to want to work on your own interests and hobbies, and spend time more alone and with your own friends. This is normal, because marriage doesn't fulfill everything in your life, it wasn't meant to. You still have to pursue your dreams individually.

When we shift from the honeymoon phase to the me and us phase, a lot of troubles can begin to arise. One partner may feel like they are being smothered. The other may feel like the passion is gone and they are being ignored. Both may judge the relationship lacking since the deep love of the honeymoon phase has transformed.

A lot of couples mistakenly think they are falling out of love during this phase. Usually it isn't true. You are simply adjusting to a life where you are married but following your own interests and allowing your partner to follow theirs. Marriage isn't about the quantity of time to spend together, it is about living a quality life and bringing that to your marriage.  Does this marriage guidance make sense?

So don't worry too much if you feel like your marriage has lost some passion after a while. It is not a bad thing that you both get some time and energy to spend pursuing your own interests. It will end up adding to the quality of the marriage.

Marriage Advice & Marriage Guidance Action Plan:

If your mate is feeling bad, is he blaming you?  See if you can talk to him about his feelings.  And see if you can point out that he doesn't need to blame the marriage if he feels bad sometimes!  See if underneath it all there are feelings of sadness that the honeymoon phase has shifted to a less passionate phase.

Marriage advice and marriage guidance is good to learn.  A little relationship intelligence can go a long way in providing the type of marriage guidance that can help your relationship to thrive.  Spending some time learning relationship IQ can pay off for years down the road.  Marriage advice doesn't need to be hard to understand or follow!  Take an insight and try it in your marriage today.

Go here for a no cost course on Marriage Advice.  This is marriage guidance you can use today.


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